About Surrogate Partner Therapy
When a person seeks professional help regarding intimacy, sexuality, relationships, body image, or related issues, Surrogate Partner Therapy (SPT) can be a valuable addition to talk therapy. While talk therapy is often on-going, work with a surrogate has a defined ending point (which differs for each client). Surrogates work closely with therapists to tailor each surrogacy session to fit the client's needs.
The first time I meet you will be in your therapist's office. The three of us, client, therapist, and surrogate, form a tight-knit team. We work together to plan your surrogacy sessions, go at your pace, and move towards your therapeutic goals. Subsequent surrogacy sessions will usually be 2-4 hours long at my studio. I will start by asking you some questions about your history and what brought you to therapy. Then we will progress to a series of exercises, starting with breathing and relaxation exercises, and eventually encompassing touch of various kinds. These exercises gently encourage relaxation, body awareness, and intimacy. We will stop along the way to check in on how we are both feeling, what our needs are, whether we would like to back up or move forward. There is never any rush, and never any expectation of what we “should” get done in any given session. The exercises are there as a helpful structure, but we will always go at your pace, with informed consent at every step.
Clients often find Surrogate Partner Therapy helpful because there is no pressure to please the surrogate. There is no one “right” way to touch, no specific techniques that must be perfected. Our time together will be pressure-free, semi-structured, therapeutic, fun, challenging, and transformational.
Between our sessions, I will check in with your therapist. I will stay in contact with them throughout the therapy, and 3-person meetings can occur as needed. Confidentiality agreements will include all three members of our team.
Surrogates are actual partners with their clients, meaning that we will cultivate both a physical and an emotional connection. Having a genuinely loving short-term relationship with a surrogate partner can be tremendously healing. We will learn about ourselves as our relationship grows, and we will practice multiple forms of intimacy that are all part of the amazing human experience.
Surrogate-client relationships come to an end when all three members of the team decide that it is the right time. This is usually when the client feels that they have reached their therapeutic goals, and/or when they have found an intimate partner with whom they can continue their therapeutic work.
I am a certified Surrogate Partner through the International Professional Surrogates Association. Please visit the International Professional Surrogates Association and the Surrogate Partner Collective for more information about Surrogate Partner Therapy!